I woke up in a hot sweaty mess, wiped the blood out of my eyes, went to the lobby bar to get some food and finish my escape from Bangkok. The cab drivers must have smelt the loathing for change all over me like the skankiest of stanks. "Sir where you going?" every single cab driver trying to make some of that sweet skrilla.
After saying mai ow khrap (no thanks) about 80 times we finally just said screw it and got in a cab. Told the guy we were flying to Phuket. He took us straight to the TAT (tourism authority of Thailand) in an obviously Muslim neighborhood. Nothing wrong with Muslims but they aren't exactly fond of us westerners and the guy behind the desk wasn't the most courteous person I've run into out here. Word to the wise, book online for flights or go directly to the airport.
He tries to charge us a ridiculous amount of money for these flights, he tells us to follow some kid to the ATM and pay now. So we have only been in the country for three days now and we are starting to figure out this asshole is ripping us off.
Ryan and I exchange some looks and we decide against getting bent over by an angry Muslim travel agent. We grab our passport off the table and begin to leave, the guy comes running out after us screaming "YOU ARE NOT A MAN!" and the lady working there starts to grab at Ryan's bag to drag him back into pay or something. "FARANG!" "YOU PAY NOW!" "WE CALL THE COPS."
I'm already walking away, Ryan finally gets his bag out of this crazy vicious lady's grip and we walk off to a chorus of insults I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. Even trying to leave Bangkok is retarded.
Screw this, at least we know when the flight is now. We have 6 hours to kill. This was the last bit of bad luck Thailand has shown me since.
We decide to distress with a little bit of a walk when another Thai dude approaches us. Oh great... he likes Ryans tattoos and he likes my pale skin. Yup. Waiting for the sales pitch... he tells us about all the attractions in Bangkok... still waiting... the government is subsidizing all of the tuk tuk fares today? umm... He will take you to all the sights for free, ok... And then take you to the factory where they make hugo boss and Armani, and there it is! Whatever, we don't have to buy anything so we jump on our tuk tuk and blast the hell out of that grimey neighborhood.
As we're slightly wondering if this is another scam, we took a bunch of pics of Gumby at the big Buddha, the smiling Buddha and the Temples.
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| Smiling Buddha Temple |
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| Ryan had to leave this one because he thought the wax guy winked at him or something |
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| "The. middle. one. is. real. I'm trippin' balls, I'm out of here." |
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| Gumby says hi! From Bangkok! |
Still never going back,
Daniel Double-u
Gumby save your ass man, admit it.
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