ELEVENEVELE 11:11

 I don't feel good today, I feel alone and unwanted. I feel used. I think I've chased off anyone who holds any love for me in a way that I've lost all my supports and am flapping in a violent stormcloud. It doesn't feel good.  I am in a dark place and at a dark moment in my life.  I know I will get through this though. Just a few months and my life should open back up again. I have to remain vigilant and keep moving forward. I've come too far to stop now and only come this far.  I can and will survive this, I've survived worse and battled through tough times before. This one seems bleak in the moment but I will get through. I have to, I have an amazing 10 year old son that is relying on me getting through this.  I have so much to be grateful for. A roof over my head, enough money to survive, a means of transportation, mostly healthy.  I can do this.  Keep moving forward.  

 Things will get hard!  Your life will include hardships and struggle constantly. Everyone's does. There will be times where you don't feel like you are getting what you deserve or life is throwing you a bunch of curveballs. It will be an easy thing to want to stop trying and give up. DO NOT GIVE UP.  You didn't come this far, to only come this far. All your life you have been working towards this moment, and the next moment in your life. And you have done and accomplished so much. Often when things seem the most helpless is when your spirit will shine through and you'll get what you deserve, but only if you keep trying. If you stop trying you will get what you deserve as well.   Keep moving forward, little by little, day by day, and you will achieve what you want, I promise. If you give up, you admit defeat... you admit to those who doubted you or wanted you to fail, that they were right.   This will happen multiple times over the course of your life....

Has every story been told? Is there anything original left to say or are we just rehashing Gilgamesh and Shakespeare over and over and over? The masters lived before us and it's now up to us to create something recognizable from their ancient ashes.  No, I think not. Individually, we each tell our own story as best we can. Creating something entertaining to others should be an entirely secondary endeavour towards creating a story each of us can be proud of and be remembered by. Everybody loves an underdog but everyone  is the underdog  in their own story. We have to fight to tell our own story and claw for every inch we can. There is something original within us, each of us. It is up to us individually to write the good ending or the bad one.   My underdog story is likely only known to myself as I surely have a ton of people in my past who would like to see me fail. To them, I am not an underdog but rather just a mutt who deserves the worst in life. I have surel...