A man can either change with the times, or roll over and let the times change him. I'll take the former.
Funny thing when you change your life (and your lifestyle) the things that you desire in almost every aspect of your life change as well.
I no longer desire relationships that hurt me, no longer seek company just to hate myself for allowing disrespect to happen every time I see them.
No longer am I alright with friends that despise me when they around each other, and then reciprocate love when they aren't around each other.
I love my friends, and that is something that I believe deep in my soul. I am loyal even when I shouldn't be and before the changes in my life this loyalty was often misplaced for people that were palpable silent killers. People who were kind to my face and then murderous when they slunk into the shadows.
Drinking buddies aren't real. That is all I had, was a series of old friends I made while drinking, drank with, and did stupid shit with because of drinking.
This rings true (and probably 1000x more intense) in a romantic or sexual relationship. It's been said a million times, but you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. I chased a bunch of drunk and disorderly women that were only interested in status, what others thought of them, and optics of a relationship. This is in stark contrast to what anyone should be looking for in a relationship: mutual respect, communication, seeking and supporting each-others goals and their own while being unhindered by a relationship. The relationship should make you feel successful before you actually are, during the process of becoming successful, and should make your entire definition of success change anyways.
Until now only one relationship I've had has made me feel this way, and I was a young and stupid boy who fucked it all up with ego, hubris and self-hate. We were both young, it wasn't all my fault: I'd say it was about 75% my fault in that relationship. But I look back and wish I did things differently. I've learned from it and now hopefully, if I find someone who makes me as happy as she did, I will be able to show that love, reciprocate that love and be in love above all else.
Finally: if you aren't feeling valued in life remember the parable of the value of a water bottle:
A bottle of water in a supermarket is roughly .50 cents.
A bottle of water in a convenience store is $2.50
A bottle of water in a movie theatre is $4.00
A bottle of water on a plane is $6.00
If you don't think you are being valued correctly, change your f'n location.
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