Is this it?

Life IS worth living, until it isn't. People ARE amazing, until they aren't. 

Facing your own mortality is scary business. But it's true... you will die. 

Life can hold so many wondrous and even more terrible things. I love so much about this life, and I abhor so much about what happens during it. 

Music is one of those magical experiences that humans create. I have never been closer to GOD than I have when I am listening to good music. The power that instrument, lyrics and/or a voice can hold, when put together in the right way, is truly indistinguishable from ecstasy or from our ideals of HEAVEN. If you find a song or an album that makes you cry, grin, or gives you goosebumps and that warm feeling everywhere... you've discovered something purely mystical and as close to the good side of the spectral human experience as it gets. 

 

 

I remember hearing "The Dark Side of the Moon" for the first time, or "Kid A." These types of songs transport into another realm of existence. It can be a connection point as well between us, music brings us together. Sharing music with my son and seeing him enjoy some of the same tunes I do is an awesome experience. Some of the better memories with my own dad involve this type of thing. 

Music accentuates our life story. Picture a movie without a soundtrack (if you even can), audio gives us the cues in life that things aren't quite as bad as they sometimes seem. Or it exclaims a celebration. Or it lets you know it's cool to get some rage out and scream away the pain. Or it gives you a hug and tells you it's alright to cry for a bit. In any mood, in any situation music is right there holding us and guiding us along. Music is the seasoning that makes life tolerable. Without it, life can become a batch of unseasoned and tasteless meat and potatoes, they will only keep you going forward amidst the grey dull and boring backdrop of our post-industrial reality; with music we see the full allowance of colour and variety that makes it worth the forward progress (and life tastes better). 

 

True love. This will sound hokey, don't care. When you find someone you are borderline obsessed with, and they are borderline obsessed back and you can both fall into that saccharine, hormonal sweet spot of love... man, that is such a crazy feeling. I had it once, for about 5 years I had this wonderful amazing love in my life, then I fucked it all up. We both did, but I can't lay any blame, we were young and moronically (annoyingly) into each-other in a way that just isn't sustainable. We burned bright and burned out. We grew up, became cynical and probably both started taking various pills to cope with life. I only wish we could have met when we both had money and we could have experienced so much more together. Instead we were college kids with nothing to our names but ambition, ideas and rose-coloured glasses. 

I thought I found that another time, but she turned out to be a bit of the opposite. Life can really mess with you if you are blindly in love with a girl who has little to no ties with reality. So many factors can ruin a person towards you, towards life, towards love. The incredibly hard technique is recognizing the good people. Or the ones who haven't been traumatized enough yet. I fell out of that particular category years ago myself. But at least I was able to experience true love for those 5 short years. Thank you.

My son. My beautiful smart moralistic and loving boy. Do not ever change your spirit, you are pure good when so many are the opposite. 

You needed to be mentioned here Henry, but I will write a post next to fully outline just how much you mean to me, and how much you changed my life forever. I love you like I've never loved anything, or realized that amount of love was possible. Much different than the love mentioned above, this is an ever-lasting, in-extinguishable, bonded and forged love that will never fade. You are my reason for existing.