5. To my son: Random Access Memories (Desiderata)

Alright, this one is just some advice and tips to being a strong and respectable man. I've picked all of these up along the way and I have not always been like this. Some of them I still forget from time to time. The important thing is to respect others always and avoid disrespectful people. Realize you do not know everything (or much of anything), and stay humble. 

1. Communication: This is the way you present yourself out towards the world and the way you are perceived. Be confident in your actions (fake it if you must), be clear and concise with your words (spoken and written), try not to interrupt others and listen when others are speaking. This stuff becomes second nature over time. 

2. Be reliable and on time (or early): Arriving 15 minutes early for meetings or appointments is always wise. Allow and plan for unforeseen delays (traffic, accidents etc...)

3. Keep your appearance presentable: This doesn't always mean you have to be wearing dress shirts and a tie. The idea that you have to be buttoned up and clean shaven at all times is an antiquated one, but you should always be clean. If you have long hair, keep it tied back at work or in a place where you want to be respected, if you have a beard keep it trimmed and not wild looking. Dress for the occasion, if you have a big moment, dress nice. Wear a proper shirt, pants and belt to a job interview for instance. Get a nice watch (within your budget), wear proper footwear. If you don't know what is appropriate for a certain occasion, google it. 

4. Live within your means and invest in your future as soon as possible: This is probably the biggest one I wish somebody would've told me when I was younger. Investing in your future starts in a time-investment at school (junior high). You need to be in the higher level classes in order to get in to the better post-secondary options in university. This takes an incredible amount of hard work and dedication to succeed.

Investing also means literal financial investing. If you don't have extra income, further your position in life to get extra income. Once you have extra income, you need to start (wisely) investing. This does not mean gambling on meme stocks or start-up crypto currencies (these 2025 terminologies may be outdated by the time you read this), this means doing some basic research or talking to a financial advisor on how best to allocate investment money. Being financially literate is important no matter where you end up in life and will serve you forever. 

5. Surround yourself with good people, and put yourself in good situations. Use your head and common sense. I know teenage boys are somewhat retarded most of the time and you will make mistakes, but when you do, try to limit the severity of those mistakes and LEARN from them. Life is all about who can learn more and become better people. Be careful who you trust, there are a lot of bad people out there who lie and cheat their way through life, learn how to identify them and limit your interactions with them.

6. Don't drink too much. Drinking a few beers with buddies or a girlfriend is fun, until it's not. Don't get blasted and forget everything, nobody respects that. There will always be people in life that take things way too far with drinking and drugs, don't be that person. It might seem fun at the time, but it will screw up your whole life. Living with a drug or alcohol problem is life on hard mode, live life on easy mode. 

Don't start smoking weed until you are 25. You will want to try it, and it can be fun in moderation, but it is scientifically proven to majorly affect brain development. Once you are 25 and your brain is fully developed, go for it. If you don't like it, don't do it again. If you don't believe me about this stuff, google it. it's facts. 

7. Work hard, study hard. Work smart, study smart. Finish whatever you start, and if something is frustrating it just takes more practice. Learn new skills and join clubs and teams. Laugh, enjoy life, have fun and meet people. The world is cool. Take after your grandma and travel. 

8. Find joy, find happiness. If something or someone doesn't make you happy, leave it or them behind. 

I love you. 

Dad

 

4. To my son: You are a lifelong project

 

We all make mistakes in life, every single last damn one of us. I have made many mistakes in life. I have made many good moves and decisions as well, but a person tends to remember the mistakes more prominently, that's just a human thing. 

What separates the wheat from the chaff is this; we either learn from our mistakes and move forwards in self-correction, or fail to learn learn anything and move backwards. This is where the greatest humans are made, the ones that are able to recognize that what they are doing is wrong, and then figure out how to make it right. 

This is true of all aspects in life, we try to teach each other the proper way to go about life, but some don't understand or don't care. Those people are losers and will stay losers until a great moment of self discovery happens and they recognize the error of their ways (sometimes this never happens). So use social cues, use your brain, use common sense, logic and rationality. Too many of those walking around day-to-day don't have any common sense, so if you do you are miles ahead of those people in life.

And we are ALWAYS learning. From the moment you are born until the day you spring from this mortal coil, you are learning. When you stop learning, you stop existing as a human. There's this feedback loop of stupid going on and you have to tune into it, or stay stupid.

It goes like this: Do something stupid -> Think that was stupid and I didn't get a very good result from the stupid thing I did -> Stop doing stupid thing or change how it's done so it isn't stupid anymore -> get better result next time. 

It really is that simple. 

If you can master this and learn from mistakes (and hopefully keep those mistakes to a manageable level) you'll be laughing, and the world will be laughing with you. If you do something stupid, and then keep doing the same stupid thing, the world will start laughing at you and you'll be relegated to the stupid pile of humans, of which there are way too many already. 

 This goes for habits, actions, interactions, and situations. 

So learn for life. Stay out of the stupid pile.

3. To my Son: Practice is the key to life

 Practice is the key to life. 

Nobody is great at anything the very first time they try. Sometimes it might seem like that, because often people won't allow you to see a skill or talent until they have been at home practising that skill for many hours. 

Most professional athletes work for actual years, every day for multiple hours to get as good as they are at their profession. It all takes work and dedication to do something well. This is why school, and post secondary education, and grad school all exist. Because if you want a good life and to become skilled at something, it takes a long time to get there. 

So pick up hobbies, but follow through. This world is littered with people who try to do something and aren't good right away, and quit doing that thing. Then they move on to the next thing and repeat the process, never gaining any actual skills and floating through life as a person who isn't really good at anything and expecting the world to be good to them. The world is good to people with skills and those that can provide value to others with that skill. 

 So practice, don't give up and strive to be one of the best at whatever it is you like doing. All the hard work is worth it when you are. I promise. 

The saddest thing in the world is wasted talent.