A writer who doesn't write
A dreamer living out a nightmare
An athlete out of shape
A scholar with a useless education.
I am a father
and I care
too much,
I care
way
too
much.
The Pitiful Us
The world has seen you
tie your arms
and bear your soul
for the agony.
You were trapped
and I was fighting
wars in my own mind.
She was there
and so was he
and there will never be
another pitiful us.
Again with the games
again with the blood
again with the sorrow.
So stop then
she said
and so did he.
For all the trouble people have caused over the years. I do not hate people, In fact I remain just as enthralled by them as I was 20 years ago. People are awesome, there is so much love in the world, in the right places. Yup, there are hateful scenes and places as well, but those are easy enough to avoid.
For a long time, I tried to win over the hateful people. I know now that is a fool's errand, those people find other hateful people and I can never be that. As much as they can damper a guy's perspective, usually it doesn't take long to notice something in humanity that snaps me back to the truth that people are awesome.
Just don't go to Swigs pub and grill in Cedarbrae, Calgary. That place is a cesspool of hate if I've ever seen one. Rotten to the core. Took me long enough to realize though, and took me a while to get the stink off me from working and being around it for so long.
They aren't like us though. Thank fuck.
Set aside some time and watch this.
I don't feel good today, I feel alone and unwanted. I feel used. I think I've chased off anyone who holds any love for me in a way that I've lost all my supports and am flapping in a violent stormcloud. It doesn't feel good.
I am in a dark place and at a dark moment in my life.
I know I will get through this though. Just a few months and my life should open back up again. I have to remain vigilant and keep moving forward. I've come too far to stop now and only come this far.
I can and will survive this, I've survived worse and battled through tough times before. This one seems bleak in the moment but I will get through. I have to, I have an amazing 10 year old son that is relying on me getting through this.
I have so much to be grateful for. A roof over my head, enough money to survive, a means of transportation, mostly healthy.
I can do this.
Keep moving forward.
Things will get hard!
Your life will include hardships and struggle constantly. Everyone's does. There will be times where you don't feel like you are getting what you deserve or life is throwing you a bunch of curveballs. It will be an easy thing to want to stop trying and give up. DO NOT GIVE UP.
You didn't come this far, to only come this far. All your life you have been working towards this moment, and the next moment in your life. And you have done and accomplished so much. Often when things seem the most helpless is when your spirit will shine through and you'll get what you deserve, but only if you keep trying. If you stop trying you will get what you deserve as well.
Keep moving forward, little by little, day by day, and you will achieve what you want, I promise. If you give up, you admit defeat... you admit to those who doubted you or wanted you to fail, that they were right.
This will happen multiple times over the course of your life. I am 41 as I write this and I'm still battling many hardships. I am almost through though and I have had many chances to give up. I can't give up so I can give you the life you deserve. If I give up I am not giving you the opportunities that you deserve.
You are an amazing person. You will go far in life, you have a great work ethic and an even better head on your shoulders, you are caring and funny and helpful in all the right ways.
Keep moving forward and life will work out fine.
Love you so much,
Dad
Has every story been told? Is there anything original left to say or are we just rehashing Gilgamesh and Shakespeare over and over and over? The masters lived before us and it's now up to us to create something recognizable from their ancient ashes.
No, I think not. Individually, we each tell our own story as best we can. Creating something entertaining to others should be an entirely secondary endeavour towards creating a story each of us can be proud of and be remembered by. Everybody loves an underdog but everyone is the underdog in their own story. We have to fight to tell our own story and claw for every inch we can. There is something original within us, each of us. It is up to us individually to write the good ending or the bad one.
My underdog story is likely only known to myself as I surely have a ton of people in my past who would like to see me fail. To them, I am not an underdog but rather just a mutt who deserves the worst in life. I have surely done some people wrong in my past as the only thing I was ever really good at was writing and fighting. So I'd write about my problems and create problems to write about. Whether those problems were real or imaginary is anyone's guess.
But I'm done feeling sorry for myself. Beating myself up over the issues I've caused has run it's course. To those I've hurt, I do apologize but it's time to move on and get back to writing the good ending.
New beginnings mean a different story, a different path, and a different way of living that story within itself. Every step taken from now forward must be a measured and intent filled one. That could be a massive leap one day or a toe across the line others, but there is no time left for looking back or following the rear view mirage of days passed.
Time for the good ending to start.
Alberta separatists are easily manipulated, whiny losers who only understand an ego-centrist level of national politics and are completely (and most of the time wilfully) ignorant on a global scale.
It is not OK to rob our future generations with your radical fringe opinions. Not that you could anyways, as there are enough sane people in this province and country to keep your half-witted ideas on the fringes, where they belong.
Not only is what you believe destructive and harmful in a general sense, it is locally, globally, and historically dangerous to Albertans, Canadians and the world.
Separatists also have no idea the absolute horror show and pain that separation would cause the lives of Albertans. If you think we would keep our pensions and passports, you are insane. If you think we would take all of Alberta with us, you are delusional. How do you think trade with Canada will go after leaving the federation? Being a landlocked country would handicap our import/export options. If you think life would be better under an American regime (especially a Trump-led USA), you are dangerously wrong there as well. We would essentially become Puerto Rico north. All of these separation ideas are half-baked and contain high doses of food poisoning. It would not end well.
And all because what? You believe the federal government hates you like Danielle Smith is telling you? Well it's certainly convenient that she has the feds to blame when she is trying to cover up the blatant corruption scandal she doesn't want us to look at. By the way, Stephen Harper and Jason Kenney helped write the damn amendment to the equalization schedule that you morons are so up in arms about anyways. As far as I can see, conservatives are their own worst enemy. Believe what you want just don't make it my problem or deny my child his future for your immature and idiotic schemes.
Thankfully we put an adult in charge that has demonstrated experience in the exact mandate he was elected on, guiding a nation through an incredibly turbulent economic uncertainty.
Many would have voted for Carney whether he ran liberal or conservative and he could have ran either. Although the vote was as much for him as it was to not to send a lifelong libertarian to go south and bend the knee to Trump for three more years, dismantling our nation to the most economically destructive government the world has seen since WW2.
But tell me again how you voted tribal you absolute ignoramus ass hats. Get a grip.
Alright, this one is just some advice and tips to being a strong and respectable man. I've picked all of these up along the way and I have not always been like this. Some of them I still forget from time to time. The important thing is to respect others always and avoid disrespectful people. Realize you do not know everything (or much of anything), and stay humble.
1. Communication: This is the way you present yourself out towards the world and the way you are perceived. Be confident in your actions (fake it if you must), be clear and concise with your words (spoken and written), try not to interrupt others and listen when others are speaking. This stuff becomes second nature over time.
2. Be reliable and on time (or early): Arriving 15 minutes early for meetings or appointments is always wise. Allow and plan for unforeseen delays (traffic, accidents etc...)
3. Keep your appearance presentable: This doesn't always mean you have to be wearing dress shirts and a tie. The idea that you have to be buttoned up and clean shaven at all times is an antiquated one, but you should always be clean. If you have long hair, keep it tied back at work or in a place where you want to be respected, if you have a beard keep it trimmed and not wild looking. Dress for the occasion, if you have a big moment, dress nice. Wear a proper shirt, pants and belt to a job interview for instance. Get a nice watch (within your budget), wear proper footwear. If you don't know what is appropriate for a certain occasion, google it.
4. Live within your means and invest in your future as soon as possible: This is probably the biggest one I wish somebody would've told me when I was younger. Investing in your future starts in a time-investment at school (junior high). You need to be in the higher level classes in order to get in to the better post-secondary options in university. This takes an incredible amount of hard work and dedication to succeed.
Investing also means literal financial investing. If you don't have extra income, further your position in life to get extra income. Once you have extra income, you need to start (wisely) investing. This does not mean gambling on meme stocks or start-up crypto currencies (these 2025 terminologies may be outdated by the time you read this), this means doing some basic research or talking to a financial advisor on how best to allocate investment money. Being financially literate is important no matter where you end up in life and will serve you forever.
5. Surround yourself with good people, and put yourself in good situations. Use your head and common sense. I know teenage boys are somewhat retarded most of the time and you will make mistakes, but when you do, try to limit the severity of those mistakes and LEARN from them. Life is all about who can learn more and become better people. Be careful who you trust, there are a lot of bad people out there who lie and cheat their way through life, learn how to identify them and limit your interactions with them.
6. Don't drink too much. Drinking a few beers with buddies or a girlfriend is fun, until it's not. Don't get blasted and forget everything, nobody respects that. There will always be people in life that take things way too far with drinking and drugs, don't be that person. It might seem fun at the time, but it will screw up your whole life. Living with a drug or alcohol problem is life on hard mode, live life on easy mode.
Don't start smoking weed until you are 25. You will want to try it, and it can be fun in moderation, but it is scientifically proven to majorly affect brain development. Once you are 25 and your brain is fully developed, go for it. If you don't like it, don't do it again. If you don't believe me about this stuff, google it. it's facts.
7. Work hard, study hard. Work smart, study smart. Finish whatever you start, and if something is frustrating it just takes more practice. Learn new skills and join clubs and teams. Laugh, enjoy life, have fun and meet people. The world is cool. Take after your grandma and travel.
8. Find joy, find happiness. If something or someone doesn't make you happy, leave it or them behind.
I love you.
Dad
